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You Know You Are From Ohio If…
Scott Ferguson
July 29, 2010
Humor
- You snicker when someone’s from Lima, because you think of the state hospital.
- You think all pro football teams are supposed to wear orange.
- Schools close for the state basketball tournament (deer season, too).
- You’re proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.
- You know all the four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
- You live less than 30 minutes from some college or university.
- You know what a buckeye really is and have a recipe for candy ones.
- You’ve heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.
- “Toward the lake” means north and “toward the river” means south.
- You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
- You root for a college team even though you’ve never taken a class there.
- You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati.
- You carry jumper cables in your car.
- You always visit two amusement parks in one summer.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.
- You know what game they’re playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.
- “Vacation” means spending a day at Cedar Point or King’s Island.
- “Down south” to you means Kentucky.
- Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
- Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
- You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
- You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
- You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- You know what should be knee-high by the fourth of July.
- You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
- You know what “pop” is.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
- You think deer season is a national holiday.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You actually get these jokes and tell them to your Ohio friends.
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